dear is a weird word.

in cdu, it is something that the CIs use when they've forgotten your name. yes, they forget names, even when you're wearing a nameplate across your chest.
it could also be a word to replace the otherwise boyish bisaya tern "do", which kinda means like "dude" or "bub" or whatever word of that species.

more importantly, it is a word which i have gotten the hang of just recently.

it is quite funny actually.

i sound very girly when i say it. dear, please ko sa akong notebook bi...or dear, kalibangun ko, naa kai tissue? or dear, wa kai ayu, patiran tika run.

hahaha.

and it is because of that that i found myself in a very---er----contemplating position.

i suddenly realized that, well, i was a girly girl once.
a girly girl who liked barbie dolls and flowery shoes and fluffy critters. and that before i started the whole concept of procrastination i actually was a fan of the mainstream.
and that i am now starting to doubt my skepticism about people falling in love (gasp, i said the "L" word! ^^) and expressing it in the corniest, yet most smile-inducing ways.

i talked to rosie about it and i was relieved to find out that this is entirely normal. hehe. yes, i need psychiatric help sometimes.

so i'm sorry dear monkey if i wasn't able to articulate this well enough during our last mall walking spree. somehow i could not push myself to tell you---or at least imply---that i am actually experiencing a refreshing sense of pyrotechnics (which normal people would term "fireworks") whenever we are together.





ma-feeler pa lang ka, dear.